Untitled Thoughts (Cont'd)

And here again how tempted I am to return and rewrite and rephrase and redo and edit it all and change it all but then I stop and

think.

How that's how life is because you can't change it and nobody can turn back time or relive anything again you can't always be looking

back.

It's sad but true yet how much I long for the past how much I want to rewrite some parts of my life how much really I want some things to be so very different from how they are now and how desperate I want it to be so and when I come face to face with the facts how it overwhelms me those facts how they overwhelm me and even though I may overreact or be dramatic it is how I am sometimes even though I may be that way how true it is the way those facts affect me.

How they affect the way I live I love I laugh I listen I lie I lack I am.

And all these thoughts they come again and again in refreshed waves bringing new thoughts I must write down for my own sanity's sake even as the world is watching me weighing whispering wondering wearing away.

And I cannot seem to stop these thoughts they just come without rhyme or reason without punctuation in a kind of strange rhythm that is the rhythm of life it goes up and it goes down that's just the way it is that's how it is and we must live with it in sickness in health in dark and in light in this situation and that

we must live with it.

Live with it or perish.